Warning: The dragons in this review are named Giant and Spoilers. I have tried to shield most of them from view, but don’t get mad at me if one of them burns you. With this book, it was bound to happen.This one was a real mudfight. Between me, myself and I. Me didn’t get beyond “SQUEEE!” for several hundred pages,Myself, while also trying to get over her grammatically awkward name, came up with the logical reasoning why this reaction was totally okay and based on something other than lef [...]

Dear George R.R. Martin. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You may have killed my favorite character. Prepare to die roll in dough as we continue buying your brick-sized creations. (The above is what you'd expect from a book titled "A Dance with Dragons." Disclaimer: For the vast majority of this book's pages, none of it happens.)Yes, I have a few problems with this latest installment in GRRM's neverending magnum opus. I have high standards for GRRM after ASOIAF 1-3. Hey, I read GRRM before I eve [...]

"Words are wind," says George R. R. Martin (GRRM) no less than 13 times in the latest installment of his A Song of Ice and Fire series. In this incredibly windy tome there was very little advancement of the overall story and no resolution to any of the myriad plot threads. Instead, most of the book followed characters travelling, yet in its 1,000+ pages only one reaches his destination while the rest are still travelling.Words are wind, and GRRM is a windbag. His predilection for overwriting is [...]

Tyrion Lannister's horse was rubbing him raw as they rode onward, the branches of the trees above them swaying in a branch-like way. Ravens flew about among them, and clouds of dust hovered like halos around the hooves of their steeds. Wiping sweat from his brow, Tyrion spoke to yet another minor character you've never seen before. "I hear that the Morvin and the Shornpel clans have sided with Darvus Farier from the great city of Bee Eff Eee, and are pushing forward late king Baratheon's bastard [...]

Purchased anew, and laid it beside her bed,Conflicting thoughts flying through her head.Afraid almost to crack the covers, read the pages,What if it was the last book? "No, More," she rages.What if it wasn't? How long the wait next time?Five years? Seven? Thirteen? Unlucky, even in rhyme.First I must reread all the othersfresh my brain of Snow and all his Brothers.Sansa is no smarter than I did recall.Starks should avoid other Kings Halls.Weddings never make things merry,The price too high for u [...]

I'm blown away that someone could write a book so long in which nothing actually happensI wrote a longer review at allthenomineesBut it says pretty much the same thing.

This is the review I did for the Sunday Express. It only appeared in hardcopy so I can't link it.Since it's a national newspaper and many of the readers may never have read a fantasy book, let alone the first four in the ASOIAF series, the review is less about this book and more about the series and the author. I hope to make them the gift of a great reading experience. My rating for the book is set in the context of the alternative works of fantasy on the shelves rather than in an attempt to ra [...]

PROLOGUEHe awoke to the warmth of sunlight on his face. At last the day had come. He stretched to work out the kinks in his joints and muscles and groaned at the throbbing in his head. On his nightstand lay a bottle of Dornish red, which he downed in one long swallow to clear his mind, wine dribbling down his beard and tunic. He spied the book at the corner of his room where he had hurled it, and nearly threw the bottle too as the rage resurfaced along with his senses.The book was called A Dance [...]

Spoilers Included, so skip if you feel the needSo, it's like this. You like hotdogs. Hotdogs are your favorite food. And there's a jumbo hotdog coming out on the 12th, so yay. Come the twelfth, all you get is the bread, and they say, eat that, the sausage is coming. It's so meaty, you're already salivating, dribbling on yourself in public like a fool.Munch, munch, munch. But the bread is dry Then you come upon a sausage factory. The Jumbo Sausage factory, and you get a grand tour, up and down ev [...]

So now it's getting to where my watching the shows before the books are confusing me. I mean I have the pre-order of season 7 coming next week and I feel like this book isn't up to date. Then I remember that we are still waiting for the next book. Well, next 3 books according to GR. Anyhoo, I'm going to add some spoiler gifs next. So if you haven't read or seen any of the shows you can pass up the next 3 gifs. I will scroll down a wee bit before adding. 🖤🐺🖤.🖤🐺🖤Mel ❤️

“I rose too high, loved too hard, dared too much. I tried to grasp a star, overreached, and fell.” I did it. This is the longest book I have ever read. And while I am proud of myself, I also hope it will stay that way. GRRM better not let the sequels be longer than this beast.Once again, I had a slow start. Once again, this took me more than a month. Once again, there was things I liked and disliked, chapters I enjoyed and parts where I wished neither I nor the author had such a vivid imagin [...]

Wow! Another one down! Each of these books are so incredibly long that it feels like a major accomplishment to complete them. I feel like I should get a merit badge or something.Nonetheless, this epic saga continues. While I didn't see a lot of forward movement, I appreciated the time spent with some of my favorite characters. Mr. Martin is not one to spare details, and this book is full of them.That being said, I spent a lot of time feeling lost. As if there weren't enough characters already, M [...]

Martin himself describes the writing process of Feast: ‘The last one was a bitch.” and of ADWD: “This one was three bitches and a bastard”. If the author had trouble writing it It’s not surprising that it is also “three bitches and a bastard” to read. Presumably the first 3 books were easier to write, I also found them far more enjoyable to read. I think part of my difficulty with reading ADWD is my refusal to skip anything, I never felt this urge to in the 1st 3 books. I read this [...]

So where were the dancing dragons? This book was so bad. Not a single dragon danced once. I’m so disappointed. Gosh! I may not even read the next one! You call that dancing? I’m, of course, kidding. When the next book comes out I will devour it in an angry sort of way. It’s been far, far, far, too long. Well, I should say “if” the next book comes out. But, let’s not go there it is far too painful to think about. I’m annoyed at the wait. I’ll curse George R.R. Martin for leaving m [...]

So, this is it. The dragons were supposed to dance, instead they barely spread their wings. And I am left thinking, this is it?!?My complaint by the way, is not about the wait itself. I think I have been waiting since 1998 for this (this was supposed to be book 3 sometime in the past). After a few years of waiting, I think I managed to ignore it (by ruthlessly ignoring almost all discussion of anything related to these books for years). Other authors take their time: Megan Whalen Turner seems to [...]

This was a struggle between what I wanted to feel and what I felt. I’m not going to lay false claim to being an early convert to George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire cycle. To the contrary, up until April 17, 2011, I spent a great deal of time passively ignoring fantasy in general, and Martin in particular. (By passively ignoring, I mean I lived my daily life without ever thinking about the topic). However, on that date, HBO premiered Game of Thrones. Within three minutes, people were [...]

An Initial Reaction to an Initial ReactionChicago Tribune:“What’s A Song of Ice and Fire? It’s the only fantasy series I’d put on a level with J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. . . . It’s a fantasy series for hip, smart people, even those who don’t read fantasy.”ugh, SHUT THE FUCK UP, CHICAGO TRIBUNE! "a fantasy series for hip, smart people"you make me want to never read this. but i won't let you influence me. fuck off, douchebags! how dare you spoil my excitement with your [...]

8/27/11 Ok, no it didn't take me a month to read the book. It took me a few days. I just waited to write the review because it's one I didn't want to write. *****BELOW THAR (may) BE SPOILERS********Ok, I'm underwhelmed. GRRM is undoubtedly a fantastic writer and the writing was superb, as always. But the god damned story is dragging. 1. Dany and her dragons will never ever ever ever ever ever ever get moving. Never ever. Never. And that's bullshit. There was no dancing with dragons. There was a [...]

ENGLISH (A Dance with Dragons) / ITALIANOThe fifth chapter of "A song of ice and fire" is yet another confirmation that George R.R. Martin, in the field of the epic-medieval fantasy, is the most worthy successor of J.R.R. Tolkien. The universe molded by Martin is described with a manic cure and with so many details that some readers are rather disappointed, accusing the work to be too long and/or boring. I do not agree. Game of Thrones has become what we today know exactly thanks to the painful [...]

At the risk of getting thoroughly stomped by series fans, this was the first book where I really felt "it was ok" is the best I can say of it. It's wildly scattered all over the landscape of the current story, both in term of physical location and in terms of characters. There are so many new characters, new armies, new leaders, new kings, new slaves, new queens, and new vicious psychopaths that it's impossible to keep track of everyone, even if I wanted to. I know fans will say that's what the [...]

Did any of you guys watch Lost? Remember how you'd be watching a totally banal episode, and you're like "Oh, interesting, everyone is mad at Hurley for eating ranch dressing right out of the tub, that's, gee, that's compelling, hey now do more scenes of Jack and Kate re-establishing readily apparent character conflicts and interrelationships, zzz." But then at the end of the episode, something totally crazy would happen, and you'd be all "OMG IS VINCENT THE SMOKE MONSTER?" and the music would go [...]

Well, I guess we know now why Martin took so long to release this latest volume: it's a steaming mess.Forget for a moment the fact that of the many principal POV characters, only one (Jon Snow) has any discernible character arc throughout the tome's 940+ pages. Forget too that the only female POV characters (Cersei and Dany, and even Asha in her first chapter) can scarcely go two pages without pining lustily and pathetically for their male paramours. Don't trouble yourself with the chapters (Vic [...]

Whenever I've heard about other people's favorite books that they reread once a year, I'm puzzled by the fact that they say that they find new things every time when reading. Not every time, is it?In fact whenever I reread a Dance with Dragons, I get lost at the very same place, my most treasured book parts are the self same. I don't read the book to hone any detective skill that might be lying dormant in me, but for pure pleasure.I know the book has problems, but I say that it wouldn't do to fo [...]

I wonder what will come first Winds of Winter or the final season of Game of Thrones?

1.) A Game of Thrones ★★★★★2.) A Clash of Kings ★★★★★3.) A Storm of Swords ★★★★★4.) A Feast for Crows ★★★★★#readASOIAF Read-Along - Hosted by Riley from Riley Marie, Elizabeth from Liz Loves Literature, and Kayla from BOOKadoodles. ♥A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons cover the same period of time, but split the characters and their points of view up. I've always chosen to read them back to back, but maybe people enjoy reading them simultaneously. [...]

Stannis Baratheon marches on Winterfell from the Wall. Daenerys's empire is threatened from within. Tyrion finds himself enslaved. Cercei finds herself in chains. The Crow's Eye desires Daenerys for his own but so do several other would-be suitors. And Jon Snow faces dissent from his brothers of the WatchIn the latest installment of Incest and Intrigue, more of the pieces are placed on the board. Daenerys can't trust anyone. Jon Snow can't trust anyone. Iron Lords cannot trust their own brothers [...]

The never ending game of thrones continues, and in this fifth installment things get quite out of hand. Full of deceit and wrong decisions that lead to consequences beneath a human being's capability to accept. Never a dull moment with George R. R. Martin, another masterpiece.I could talk about the plot and characters for days if I wanted to, but I'll try my best to make this review as short as possible. Kindly note that this will contain spoilers! Don't read beyond this part, unless you're a pe [...]

I don't know how to objectively review this book.I first found Westeros in high school--sophmore year, to be exact. I'd had A Game of Thrones for months, maybe a year. I think it was a present. I kept opening it, reading a few pages, and bouncing off. And then one day I was bored and didn't have anything better to read and I finally forced my way through the prologue (which I still hate, and skip on rereads) and fell head-first into the book. When I came up for air, I demanded my parents take me [...]

Basically I LOVE THIS BOOK AND I HATE THAT I LOVE IT SO MUCH BECAUSE AFJDKALDADSAD MY LIFE IS RUINED.Yup. That is my entire review, right there. You can go now. BH AH AHA HA HAh ah haha. *breaks down in tears*I have no idea how to review BUT I WILL SAY MORE THINGS!! Because I have things to say. I don't love everything about this series, but I do love it. I mean, it has stuff that makes me really angry and I'm 10000% sure it has a lot of unnecessary sex and rape and violence. But the world build [...]

Three and a half stars.There are currently over 3000 reviews of this book on this here website here. Adding another one would be like spitting into the Delaware River. So here goes.Like the previous entry in the series, A Feast for Crows, there are too many POV chapters from characters I don’t care about, uninteresting subplots that go nowhere, too much bloat. I read A Game of Thrones in about a week; this book took me over a month, and it seemed like forever. Am I going to read, The Winds of [...]